The Internuts Podcast! Episode 15 – Candle in the Wind

If you are reading this hastily written podcast synopsis it means that the Mayans were wrong and the world continues to exist (at least until the iPhones become sentient)!  What a relief!  What better way to celebrate your continued residence upon this mortal coil then by listening to an amiable comedy podcast!  Join Thelma Weinstein, Jim Conrad, writer/comedian Glen Tickle, and myself as we reminisce upon holidays past in a “splendidly appointed” Vermont cabin.  Will some surprise guests drop by?!?  Will anyone have a baby while recording the show?!?  Will there be an astounding number of ocean puns?!?  Listen to find out!  Happy Holidays, my dear internet friends!  I’ll meet you again in 2013!

Thank you to all my guests, both recent and over the course of 2012.  Thank you to Kevin MacLeod for composing our wonderful theme music and performing the Christmas tunes used in this episode.  Thank you to She and Him for allowing the use of their songs from A Very She and Him Christmas.  Finally, make sure to look for friend of the show Beth Beverly on AMC’s Immortalized coming in February.  That’s the last shameless plug of the calendar year!  Huzzah!!!  

UPDATE: Since recording the show, Jim and his lovely wife welcomed a happy and healthy baby to the Conrad family! Congrats, you crazy kids!

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The Internuts Podcast! Episode 14 - Little Critters and Funny Bummers!

And we're baaaaccccckkkkk!  After taking a month off to recharge the ol' podcast batteries it's a pleasure to be back in your earholes!  To celebrate the triumphant return of the show I gathered some of my favorite guests in my dining room where we chatted amiably while gradually getting drunk on artisanal beer.  Join Thelma Weinstein, Karl Whitman, Whiskers McTheHobo, and I as we descend into hoppy madness! 

Talking points include: the Woodstock '94 of Presidents, RIP Morgan Freeman, The Big Bertha Ball, chicken veal, boob art, the miniscus, COPS, porkchops and dick and applesauce, female anatomy, the dirty side of baked goods, bathroom feng shui, sad poems, river rats, Mr. Catsaphone, wine and bear parties, shiny paper, guiding Sparkles, and The Internuts Fan Fiction Corner!

Special thanks to all the guests for stopping by Internuts Headquarters to record in person for a change.  Thanks to Or, the Whale for the use of their wonderful music.  Thanks to Kevin MacLeod for composing our various theme songs.  Finally, there is some BIG EXCITING NEWS to share!!!  Friend of the show and past guest, Beth Beverly of Diamond Tooth Taxidermy, will be prominently featured on the upcoming AMC show Immortalized.  Congratulations to Beth and make sure to tune in to AMC on Thursday, Feb. 14 at 9:30/8:30c!  I'm pretty sure that means Beth gets a key to a locked room containing the scripts for the last season of Breaking Bad.  Showbiz!!!  Anyhow, congrats again Beth!  That's it for now, friends, seeya back here in December for TV Craps! and a very special holiday episode of The Internuts Podcast!

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TV Craps! Episode 4 - Rise of the Zombies!

Hello, valued listener!  After a relaxing hiatus, Thelma and I are back in the saddle (gross) and ready to talk about TV shows while drinking!  How did the world keep turning without us?!?  This month, we're barely paying attention to Rise of the Zombies on the SyFy channel.  Luckily, we talk about a bunch of our favorite shows while we're distracted.  I hope you enjoy the show and check back in for episode 14 of The Internuts Podcast at the end of the month!

Talking points include: Murder shows, Face Off, Hot Set, 666 Park Avenue, Revolution, Last Resort, Breaking Amish, The Office, Parks and Recreation, American Horror Story, The Walking Dead and The Wire.

Spoiler Alert: We discuss major plot points from Parks and Rec, American Horror Story, The Walking Dead, and Season 1 of The Wire. For your convenience, all the spoilery talk is at the end of the show.  Please listen carefully.

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The Internuts Podcast! Episode 13 - The First Annual First Anniversary Spectacular!



It’s a celebration, bitches!  September 22^nd marked the 1 year anniversary of The Internuts Podcast!  In our first year we’ve released 12 monthly episodes (not counting bonus episodes OR our sister podcast, TV Craps!).  That’s 12 hours of pure listening pleasure!  Do you know what else was 12 hours long?  The first season of M*A*S*H.  That’s right…mathematically, this show is as good as M*A*S*H.  Suck it, Alan Alda!  To illustrate just how long 12 hours is: you can get in your car in New York City, hit play on episode one, and you won’t hear silence until you reach Detroit.  Try it for yourself!*

*DO NOT ACTUALLY GO TO DETROIT!

To commemorate this special occasion, I’ve compiled a clip show that features some of my very favorite moments from the first year of the show.  If some of the clips are new to you, take some time to browse our back catalog of episodes.  Subscribe to the show through iTunes and leave us a review.  Tell a friend to listen. The Internuts Podcast is also down with youth culture because we have a Twitter account now!  Follow @InternutsChris to get updates, learn about guests, and say hello!

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Making this show isn’t easy.  Each month I book guests, search out awful things on the internet, talk with record companies, and whittle down hours and hours of rambling audio.  I would like to thank my amazingly patient girlfriend for sharing me with a laptop computer for the past year.  I couldn’t have done it without you, babycakes!  Thank you to Kevin MacLeod for composing our various theme songs. Thank you to The Wayside Shakeup, Crooked Still, and Lettuce for sharing their music on the show.  I’d also like to thank all of my friends (old and new) who appeared on the podcast.  Without brilliantly funny guests like you I would be talking to myself each month like a lunatic.  Finally, THANK YOU LISTENERS!  I can’t believe how many people listen to this show.  It’s absolutely crazy but I’m not complaining.  You guys are the best.  Please keep listening and tell your friends!  There will be no new podcasts in October while I celebrate this milestone by lying on the couch for a full month and not recording any of the words I say.  Check back in November for brand new episodes of TV Craps! and The Internuts Podcast!  Enjoy the fall weather, friends, and thank you for listening!

The Internuts Podcast! Episode 12 - Man Pools and Lady Tingles!

The nights are getting colder.  The children are back in school.  The teachers are drinking in private again.  It can only mean one thing...the summer is coming to a close.  But fear not!  The Internuts Podcast is here with the audio equivalent of a Pumpkin Spice Latte!  Join me, Ken Swanson, and comedians Glen Tickle and Brian Six as we stare into the inky black hole at the heart of the internet.  Enjoy!

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Talking points include: $7 vodka, head janitors, chiming in, full babies, America’s greatest rivalry, world’s worst, growing into your sousaphone, golf claps, Anne, incurable lady tingles, the truth about the Lost Boys, Sliders, the most terrifying game of Super Mario Bros, horse camp, Double Superman, Cal Ripken’s secret, Oxiclean, bird parts, AND The Internuts Fan Fiction Corner!

Make sure to keep up with Glen through Facebook, Twitter, and his website.  And check in with Brian on Facebook, Twitter and Youtube.  Ken does not own a computer, nor does he have the finger dexterity to properly manipulate the keyboard.  Finally, a huge thank you to one of my favorite bands, Lettuce, for the use of their music.  Buy their latest album, FLY, wherever you buy good albums.  While you're at it, go ahead and buy all their records.  That's it for this month, Internuts, I'll see you back here in September for our anniversary show!  Ciao!



TV Craps! Episode 3 - 16 and Pregnant!

Hello America!  Despite jet lag and serious illness, Thelma and I are back with Episode 3 of TV Craps!  Were the Olympics the most important thing on TV for the last few weeks?  Yes.  Do we talk about the Olympics?  Not really.  Listen as we discuss everything from left handed JO's to True Blood!  See ya back here at the end of the month for The Internuts Podcast!

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PS - We save discussion of True Blood, The Newsroom, and Breaking Bad for the tail end of the show so don't worry about spoilers unless we warn you!

The Internuts Podcast! Episode 11 - Ghost Farts and War Tanks!

Hi there!  Another month has passed us by and that can mean only one thing...it's time for another episode of The Internuts Podcast!  Listen as I reflect back on the month of July with perennial podcast favorite Philip Darrenkamp, Second City alum Josh Philo, and taxidermist Beth Beverly.  Can you listen to a more insightful podcast?  Sure!  Can you listen to a more professional podcast?  Absolutely!  BUT, can you listen to a podcast with as many taxidermy anecdotes as this one?  PROBABLY NOT! 

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PHILIP DARRENKAMP is a man whose credentials and origin are a mystery to everyone but himself and the master jewel thief who taught him to read Hebrew.  JOSH PHILO is a Chicago resident, sketch performer, and product of the venerable Second City Training Center.  BETH BEVERLY is Philadelphia's premiere rogue taxidermist.  You can see her work here, read about her from The New York Times, check out her blog, and watch the video below.  CROOKED STILL is a wonderful string band that repurposes traditional music as well as writing their own excellent songs in an old-timey style.  Buy their newest album, Some Strange Country, wherever it is that you buy albums.  As always, thank you to Kevin McLeod for providing our theme music.  Finally, make sure to subscribe to the show through iTunes and leave us a nice review.  That's it!  Enjoy and I'll see you back here on August 15th for another episode of TV Craps! and August 31st for more of The Internuts Podcast! Talking points include: a Tour of Italy, Pepsi Clear, bird bones in Chicago, squirrel centipedes, taxidermy war stories, toothpaste vs. Old Spice, David Bowie's makeup, Plus Size in Cincinnati, nude crudités, To Catch a Koala Predator, getting wet with Whiskers, JO in a tornado, piano medicine, To Catch a Robert Loggia, Hunter in a bucket, Catman Begins, Bill Gates: Rocketeer, ankle deep in trim, Army Surplus war tanks, dog racism, and The Internuts Fan Fiction Corner!   

TV Craps! Episode 2 - The Insider/Dogs in the City

Hi Gang!  Well, it's that time again.  What time, you ask?  PAY ATTENTION!  It's time for Thelma and I to watch an hour of television and report our findings to YOU!  Today we were tasked with watching The Insider and Dogs in the City on CBS.  Needless to say, we get distracted fairly quickly and spend most of the time talking about The Newsroom, True Blood, and Wes Anderson movies.  Surprisingly, I don't think this episode features any big spoilers unless you are super invested in True Blood.*  So grab a snack, kick back on the couch, and listen to TV Craps! with Chris and Thelma!

*If you are super invested in True Blood you should rethink YOUR WHOLE SITUATION.

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The Internuts Podcast! Episode 10 - The Crossed Swords of Living Wizards!

It’s hard to believe, Internuts, but the Dog Days of Summer are upon us.  It seems like just yesterday we were enjoying the Otter Hours of Winter and the Marmot Minutes of Spring.  Thankfully The Internuts Podcast! has been specially formulated to be enjoyed in an air conditioned environment.  Don’t try to listen to this shit outside.  It’s hot out there, playa.  Join Jo Pincushion, Tony DiGerolamo, Karl Whitman and myself as we learn the best ways to beat the heat this summer.  Also, we talk about zombies.

Note: There are a few issues with sound quality on this episode.  We record using Skype and, dependable as it is, audio hiccups do occur.  Despite my best efforts the guests occasionally sound like Carol Anne from Poltergeist.  Please accept my deepest apologies. 

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Talking points include: sitting down at concerts, sad summer Santas, CBF, Bon-O, lava monster propaganda, bold Batman opinions, stuff coming at your face, Camelbaks full of White Zin, pieces of meat, Mitt Romney's The Stand, rodent troubles, Peep Trap, believing Smash Mouth, girl farts, pickling The Beast...sexually, Mighty Morphin *White Power* Rangers, breastaurants, The Greatest Story Ever Told, and America's favorite: The Internuts Fan Fiction Corner!

Jo Pincushion is a writer, actor, blogger, singer, podcaster, and all-around busy young lady.  You can check out some of Jo’s work at Geekadelphia, GuySpeed, and Things Women Want.  You can follow Jo on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr or find out more from her website. 

Tony DiGerolamo is a comic book writer, screenwriter and web-presence-haver.  Tony writes for Bart Simpson and Simpsons Comics, both released by Bongo.  He has also written for Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher and Space Ghost Coast to Coast.  Tony wrote the comics Jersey Devil, The Travelers, and The Fix.  Tony is the creator of the webcomic Super Frat and the co-creator of The Webcomic Factory.  Tony has his own Wikipedia entry which I am impressed by.

Karl Whitman is a dear friend of mine but he has accomplished very little with his life.  He doesn’t even have a Wikipedia entry.  He should be ashamed of himself.

Last but not least, I’d like to give a special thank you to The Wayside Shakeup for allowing me to feature some of their music this month.  Look them up on Facebook and YouTube and follow them on Twitter.

I'll seeya back here for TV Craps! on July 15th and another episode of The Internuts Podcast! on the 31st!  Stay frosty, friends!

TV Craps! Episode 1 - Chopped!

America!  It's time for a very important announcement!  Beginning today, there is a new monthly podcast availble from Internuts Headquarters.  Say hello to TV Craps!  Think of it as the precocious little sister of The Internuts Podcast!  TV Craps! will be released on the 15th and The Internuts Podcast! will be released on the last day of the month.  During the show, Thelma and I are assigned a random channel to watch on television for an hour.  We dutifully watch and use the show as a jumping off point to discuss television in general. 

Warning: this is a podcast about all things TV and there will be spoilers!  I'm including a list of time stamps below so you can skip over certain segments if you don't want to learn too much about your favorite show.  You've been warned!

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The Culinary Adventures of Baron Ambrosia



Topics of discussion:

00:00 - 11.34  Random chitchat

11.35 - 20.40  Mad Men 

20.41 - 31.33  Random chitchat

31.34 - 38.19  Breaking Bad

38.20 - 43.09  Asking Siri about wine

43.10 - 49.07  True Blood and Game of Thrones

49.08 - 56.02  More chitchat and goodbyes

The Internuts Podcast! Episode 9 - The Chernobyl of Pope Hats...

Like a stately tortoise shambling into a 7-Eleven, springtime has taken leave of us.  But fear not!  It's summertime!  Fire up your grills, put on your shades, and liberally apply some SPF Hilarity!  No, but seriously, you should use sunscreen too.  Join Thelma Weinstein, Jim Conrad, and myself as we take a look back at May and get ready for the steamy months ahead!  Make sure to subscribe to the show in iTunes and leave a review.  If you leave a nice enough review you'll get a shoutout on a future episode!

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Talking points include: boobies and dragons, the Kidnap App, Rocky Road sex, Podcast Energy: Taste It!, the Elfman/Depp Connection, peeing on the radio on the internet, The Old Spice Girls, the first scary president, smut books on the subway, water illness, the CEO of Douchebagness, Hummus Monster, Memorial Day Pageants, Play-Doh vs Silly Putty, mermaid spells, the worst advice ever recorded, goiters and goaters, The Gentleman’s Stitch, “Destiny needs a chalice," and The Internuts FanFic Corner!


Take some time out of your busy schedule to listen to Jim's band.  While you're at it check out my band, too!  And while you're whipped up in a link-clicking-frenzy check out My Brother, My Brother and Me!  AND go here for royalty free music!!!  Whew.  Alright, that's enough shilling.  Enjoy the beautiful weather, Internuts, and I'll see you back here at the end of June!

The Internuts Podcast! Episode 8.5 - The Hunger Games!

Yeah, so...it's extremely relevant.  The Avengers can't hold a candle to this riveting convo!  We're a few weeks late but, if you're wondering what our take on The Hunger Games might be, you're in luck!  Here's a brief(ish) conversation between Thelma Weinstein, Jim Conrad, and myself about THG.  It simply didn't fit into the May 29th episode so, perhaps, it will be of use to you...


-Chris

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The Internuts Podcast! Episode 8 - A Poop Diamond Betwixt the Cheeks!

Welcome!  If you're reading this it means you are either a fan of the show or you are terribly bad at looking for pornography.  Either way, it's nice to see you!  It's hard to believe, but April is coming to a close and summer is right around the corner.  But don't turn on your air conditioning quite yet, stupid!  The Internuts Podcast is here to provide you with a little spring awakening!  ALL UP IN YO SHIT!  Join me, Thelma Weinstein, Ken Swanson, and Whiskers McThehobo as we discover what April is really all about!

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Talking points include: phoning it in, the benefits of indoor living, *NSYNC vs Jurassic 5, famous chaperons, poop rings, Chipper Jones' apple cores, midgets or toddlers?, the ultimate meaning of LOST, American-made Kelly Clarkson, welcome to Erf, Kool-Aid mouth and slippery face, scoopa da poopa, toe-jam football, squirrel holmes, elliptical hand-jobs, trading panties for Lunchables, Fred Flintstone = Buffalo Bill, rubbin' shell, and The Internuts FanFic Corner!

Hey...you!!!  HEY!!!  Yeah, you with the weird face!  Subscribe to The Internuts Podcast on iTunes (it may take 24 hours for the newest episode to pop up...be patient, little lamb!).  The more kind reviews you write the more we'll be featured on the iTunes front page.  Don't forget, this here podcast has a phone number...it's 215-821-9798.  Again, that's 215-821-9798.  Seriously, save the number in your phone and call the next time you get shitty-drunk.  We will keep it anonymous!  Remember to listen to My Brother, My Brother, and Me...the kings of Yahoo Answers!  Additionally, friend of the podcast (and friend in general) Jim Conrad has a new musical venture...listen to it!  And, lest you forget, check out Kevin MacLeod for all your royalty-free music needs!  That'll just about do it! Thelma and I are hitting the road in a few short hours so, until May...Welcome to Erf, Internuts!!!

The Internuts Podcast! Episode 7 - March Mayhem Fever...Catch It!

Hello friend!  Spring has sprung and, as so often is the case, a young man's thoughts turn to podcasting.  Well, today is your lucky day because I just so happen to have a brand new podcast for you to listen to!  Join me and fan favorites Philip Darrenkamp, Karl Whitman, and Sebastian the (former) Mall Santa as we frolic through the audio tulips on a lovely spring day.  

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Talking points include: Six from Blossom versus the Kansas City Royals, E'rybody Loves Moesha, 311 Doors Blind, Lukeskywalkerotomies, DVDNA, Fergie's face, fruits and vegetables, guano energy, caffeine blindness, Kites: less fun than sex, God's Mr. Yuck sticker, buffalo sentences, cursive Q's, Lunchables at an orgy, Lithgow in a tub and The Internuts Dubstep Challenge!

The Internuts Podcast is now searchable on iTunes so look us up and leave a review.  Just type "internuts" into the handy search bar.  Give us a call at 215-821-9798 and you can brag to your friends that your voice can be heard on a semi-popular internet comedy program!  Please give a listen to my friend Glen Tickle's wonderful new show Dad, This is a Podcast.  Also, check out the originators and perfectors of the Yahoo Answers bit, My Brother, My Brother and Me.  As always, I'd like to thank Kevin MacLeod for composing the music.  Thanks for listening and I'll see you in April!

The Internuts Podcast! Episode 6 - The Oscar Academy Award Criterion Collection Cinema Spectacular!

Hey there, movie fans!  No matter what that cross-eyed rat in Punxsutawney says, spring is right around the corner but before the flowers start blooming we must all observe America’s most sacred ritual. No, not voting.  The Academy Awards!!!  Each February hundreds of rich, attractive people get together to give each other hand jobs gold statues.  To discuss these awards, I’ve assembled a crackerjack panel of movie buffs for Episode 6 of The Internuts Podcast!  I’m joined by returning guests Glen Tickle, Karl Whitman, and Ken Swanson.  I’m also pleased to introduce Donald Sterling who is making his first appearance on the show.  Do we talk about this year’s nominees?  Sort of!  Do we talk a lot more about Back to the Future?  Listen to find out!!!

Spoiler Alert: During the course of our riveting conversation we manage to ruin the endings of Hollywoodland, The Artist, The Sixth Sense, Fight Club, The Village, The Happening, and Back to the Future.  You've been warned.

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Talking points include: zeppelin fetishes, Jimmy Page: Secret Asian Man, sad leap year babies, the unwitting cameos of Bob Dylan, Magic Nazis vs. Aliens, the Jon Hamm body swap, Alan Rickman's voice butter, shopping cart deposits, sexy movies titles, Miss Piggy in The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, Godfather III syndrome, Matthew Broderick: secret murderer, paperclip voyeurs, the dark side of Gordon Bombay, and The Internuts A Cappella Challenge!

Do the world a favor and visit my friend Glen Tickle on the internet.  You can find him here or here or here.  Also, The Internuts Podcast! has a phone number…215-821-9798.  Call it and you might just hear yourself on the next episode.  On a personal note, this tiny little podcast recently passed 10,000 listens.  It’s staggering how quickly this thing has grown and I thank each and every one of you for your continued support.  You are the cat’s pajamas.  As always, I’d like to thank Kevin MacLeod at www.incompetech.com for the use of his wonderful music.  Enjoy and I’ll see you back here in March.  Huzzah!!!

Drop us a line!

Hey folks!  I'm pleased to announce a new feature on The Internuts Podcast!  Thanks to the wonders of Google Voice, you can now call in and leave a message that, if deemed worthy, can be played on a future podcast.  Tell a funny story, let off some steam, or do your best impression and you might just become a minor internet celebrity!  Leave your name if you'd like a shout out or you can remain anonymous.


The Internuts Hotline is 215-821-9798.  It's not toll free or anything so don't call in to read War and Peace unless you have unlimited minutes.


We're dedicating the February podcast to the upcoming Academy Awards so leave a message if you'd like to share some thoughts about this year's nominees or the movie business in general.  Check back in for Episode 6 of The Internuts Podcast! and you might just hear yourself!

The Internuts Podcast! Episode 5 - Through the Wormhole...

Hey everybody! How were your holidays? 2012 is officially upon us and the end of the world, as predicted by John Cusack, is just months away. Better start listening to The Internuts Podcast before things start getting hairy!  This month I'm offering an insightful conversation with Thelma Weinstein and Jim Conrad.  As you know, Thelma is my beautiful girlfriend and Jim is the creator of the Extra Nuts mini-podcasts.  But did you know that Jim is also a musician?!? It's a fact, you stupid dummy!  Check it out!  And while you're clicking on links, I'm in a band too!  Alright, that's enough shameless plugging for now.  The Internuts Podcast will be back in February with a special Oscar episode for all you cinephiles. Keep on rockin', Internuts!

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Talking points include: Ryan Seacrest: Angel of Death, Morgan Freeman's wormhole, bat babies, Papa Diddy Pop, being your own step-granddaughter, pornography squirrels, old people in restaurants, tipping carnies, jerking it so right, peeing in a sink, baseball teeth, a plus 6 Scope regimen, geode sex, Anne Frank vs. Haley Joel Osment, fast food pizza, and an exciting new Internuts game!

In case you were wondering about the fantastic music used on the podcast, Kevin MacLeod (@kmacleod on Twitter) is the mad genius who offers up these wonderful compositions free of charge. If you ever need to use some music for a project I strongly recommend http://incompetech.com. If you don't visit this website Paul McCartney will sue you.