Hey gang! Well, it’s that time again! Time to make the donuts? Of course not, stupid! It’s time for me to watch some more television that I would normally avoid like The Black Death. After some soul searching, I’ve chosen a humdinger this week. Let me introduce you to…
There is one reason and one reason alone that I chose to watch Celebrity Apprentice this evening. I saw a commercial in which Meat Loaf was screaming violently at Gary Busey. Meat Loaf screaming violently at Gary Busey! I must confess that I’m more than a little excited about this. I eagerly hunted down the Meat Loaf meltdown episode On Demand and settled in. Were you aware that Celebrity Apprentice is an hour and a half long? I WASN’T! I was expecting to devote half an hour to this thing! There is no way that there's 90 minutes worth of entertainment to be had here. Resigned to my fate, I fix a stiff drink and hit play.
Allow me to introduce you to the contestants! On Team Backbone we have Gary Busey, John Rich, Lil Jon, Meat Loaf, Mark McGrath, Richard Hatch, and Jose Canseco. For Team A.S.A.P. we’ve got Hope Dworaczyk, La Toya Jackson, Marlee Matlin, NeNe Leakes, and Star Jones. I have never heard of half those people! Let’s get acquainted with some of the less celebrated celebrities. John Rich is apparently a country singer with a foolish mustache. Mark McGrath was the front man of the terrible band Sugar Ray. Richard Hatch is a former Survivor winner and a current ex-convict. Jose Canseco is a proponent of steroids. Hope Dworaczyk is a Playboy Playmate. La Toya Jackson is the Jackson sister who’s nipple didn’t pop out at the Super Bowl. Marlee Matlin is the B.L. (beautiful lineswoman) of Seinfeld fame. NeNe Leakes is one of the Real Housewives of Who Gives a Shit. Star Jones is terrible.